Guns For All??

Dolly Madison snack cakes and the 2nd amendment

I am not an attorney, and never wished to be one. Too many jokes, and reading the “fine print” on anything gives me a headache. Consequently, I have absolutely no understanding of “originalism” — the idea that any provision of the Constitution should retain its original meaning as at the time the provision was adopted….. almost 250 years ago…when barbers were also surgeons….due to their bloodletting skills. There must be some logic just beyond my modest intellectual reach that would give such an idea the merit to propel its adherents to the Supreme Court of the United States in the 21st century. So, I should probably apologize up front for my ignorance and hope someone more in-tune with the language and thinking from the historical period when children were valued for their coal mining skills can shed some light upon the current “originalism” views on the 2nd amendment for me.

The 2nd amendment is only twenty-seven words with some strangely placed commas and unusual word ordering — A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Written by James Madison, it is clear that the 2nd amendment “originalism” reading of a majority of today’s Supreme Court of the United States is — A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. I can only guess at why almost exactly half of the word count of something as important as the second amendment to the Constitution is just nonsensical blabber. I mean I have always been under the impression that James Madison was a competent writer, and I would think proof reading had been invented by 1789. But there it is.

I did find an unverified online resource claiming that Madison was, at times, distracted by the challenges of getting his wife Dolly’s startup snack cake company off the ground due to unreliable supplies of sugar in the late 18th century. And I know from personal experience that it’s quite easy to accidentally rest your thumb on the control key and unknowingly depress the “v” key, pasting the last text you highlighted and “right clicked” in unanticipated places. But neither of these possible explanations account for the absence of proof reading so apparently Madison intended the first 13 words to have some meaning.

Here’s where I need help from linguists. Is it possible that the first 13 words are there intentionally, but the meaning of those words was different when Madison fired up his quill and iron gall ink? For instance, was the term “well regulated” known in the colonial times to mean “absolutely no measure of any restriction or oversight under any and every imaginable circumstance?" And is my source claiming the historical definition of the word “militia” — all able-bodied citizens eligible by law to be called on to provide military service supplementary to the regular armed forces (which sounds suspiciously like the well-regulated National Guard) — sadly mistaken? Was the actual historical meaning something more like — any child (including coal miners), adolescent or adult without further qualification of any kind (except no women or blacks)?

I suppose this second potential explanation makes the most sense and fits better with my understanding of “originalism.” I know the meaning of some common words has changed considerably over time - “gay,” for example. Plus, some of our everyday English words come from other languages we don’t necessarily understand. On a trip to Denmark a few years ago I was surprised and enlightened by the Danish word for “speed.” I’m uncertain how this Danish word came to represent something else in English but that’s just the point.

It’s entirely possible that the original, non-English root of some key word — like “regulated” — could be the very reason for my confusion. Maybe a linguist can help me with that? Or maybe I should look up the source of the word “originalism” — it may have a Danish, excrement-based original root too, and that would clear the whole thing up for me.

Meanwhile, those of us concerned about the current guns-for-all application of the 2nd amendment should think about taking advantage of another colonial era custom. In 2022 there were 10 fatalities related to coal mining — 40 related to being in school.